the Best Friday Nights

I know this is a double post day, but I the joy and gladness that fill my heart are incredible. To most people in my demographics - single, twenty-something, urban dweller with a fairly high disposable income - my Friday night probably looks like the lamest thing ever. But I am seriously welling up with tears thinking about just how good it is.

I hung out with five married couples and collectively their seven children under five, although one wife and two children were out of town and missed the evening. We sat around a charcoal grill ate dinner and roasted marshmallows in the backyard in the middle of a transitioning neighborhood a few blocks from my house. And it was a perfect night.

I wasn't hanging out with single people from my church, my office...I am sure that there were things going on that I "missed out" on. But there is nothing in this world that would make me want to trade this evening. There was not one moment that I felt like the odd single person out. Or even wondered, "Hey God, I would love to have a family of mine own here too." I was just hit by wave after wave of deep, deep goodness.

I know that I have learned so much about contentment these last few months. Not by actively choosing to, but through the practice of thankfulness, and thus evaluating my life but what I have and not by what I don't, I have found this overflowing well of gladness. And this hasn't meant that I have given up hoping for marriage and a family; but rather enjoying the life I have been so generously given that I don't have to think of what could be.

And my life is incredible. I know that is bragging, but there is simply no other statement that does it justice. I get to wake up every morning a city that I love. I have friends and family, both here and far away, who love me with a love that is undeserved. People who I walk through life with and have the joy of knowing in ways that I didn't know existed this side of heaven. Oh how my heart overflows with the love I have for these people. I am seriously bawling right now thinking of them and the love we share.

Not only that, but I have a home that I love...that's a mess in process, but it is my HOME. And my ministry. My place of peace and of rest, and I hope it is that for many others for my lifetime. I live on a block with lots of neighbors, whom I get to share the hope that I have by loving them and using the gifts that the Lord has given.

And even more than my home is my church. When the Lord challenged me in 2007 to stay for a church, I never could have imagined the goodness I would see in all the years since then. They haven't always been easy...there were more days than I ever care to count that I just didn't know how I was going to even make it through the day, but I had a faithful community that never left my side, reminding me that my Lord was trustworthy, and faithful and FOR ME. They believed when I could not.

I have a job that I love. It is challenging and engaging. I believe in and enjoy what I do. I'm constantly learning and growing and working with all sorts of issues, so it is rarely boring. My coworkers are funny and honest and pains-in-the-ass some days, but I love going to work with them. My boss, well both my bosses, are great leaders and managers and teachers, and I am so thankful to learn from them. I have gotten to travel the world, sometimes for free, thanks to my job. And I have earned enough from my job to travel all the places they have not taken me. Crazily enough, I was created to work on Capitol Hill. Yes, it is an unexpected turn of events, but I asked for infinitely beyond my imagination. And I get to meet interesting people from all over the country and world, have lunches and dinners and happy hours. I play softball in front of the White House in the shadow of the Washington Monument. I love my job.

I have children...sure none of them are my own, but to quite a few I am Miss Sarah, and I am loved. And I get to hear stories and give hugs and play and buy pretty dresses for. These sweet precious children ask others to "pray for their buddy Miss Sarah" and want to sit with me in church. Oh they have captured my heart in ways that I never knew was possible. Oh how I love them!

I could keep going, there is not room enough in this world to count how the generous the Lord has been too me. It just can't be done.

King David said, "I would have despaired unless I believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage, yes wait for the Lord." (Ps 27:13-14) For so much of my adult life I have comforted myself with that verse, saying that the Lord would give me marriage because that was the good things. I have only just begun to see and experience; acknowledge and press into the beauty of that goodness that I see right now. It is not something that is far off. It is not something that is near. It is HERE. I have seen the goodness of the Lord. I have tasted it and feasted upon every day. It is a lavish goodness.

And I suppose one day the Lord may see it fit to give marriage. And it will be good. But it will not make this goodness any less good. It is good because God has declared it good. So I will step off my soapbox now and just rest in this sweet place. God is good. I am loved. All is well.