ramblings

Today, I choose to believe that God is good. But my confession is, I doubt at times, when all the sudden circumstances seem hopeless. Or if something I was counting on, suddenly proves to be flimsy.

A few months ago, it appeared as if I had several options. I never knew whether any of those options would pan out, but the fact that they were there was very reassuring. Two of those options are gone and one isn't as attractive to me anymore, so I am so tempted to believe that God isn't good; that He will not be able to do something with my limited means.

And still, with every breath that I breathe, every step that I take, I know with a fullness unlike any other that God is good, that He is at work in my life, and that He is preparing such things, that I would not believe, even if I were told. I know that - the evidence comes from the floors that I am sitting on, in the house that He has given me, with friends all around me. I am seeing miracles. And I know and believe that He will work in all areas of my life, to His glory and honor, and my good.

Yet in the day to day that is hard. It is a lonely fight that requires an arsenal and strength that I don't always have. The enemy's attacks are ruthless as well. And today, unbelief abounds.

So Lord, this is my stone, set before you, that I may be mindful of all the others days that I do believe on the days that I don't. You are my Father. My everlasting. And you are good. And if I have to sing that a thousand times to come through these shadows, I will sing.